The return of the McRib

Know that feeling on Christmas morning... where you asked for some stupid toy for the past three months, waited and hoped that it'd be under the tree, then when you finally open the box and start playing with it, you realize, after 10 minutes, that it's actually a piece of crap? The McRib is exactly like that. Except instead of three months, I've waited something like 7 years, and instead of 10 minutes, the disappointment is instantaneous.

I know, I know. It's a 'rib' sandwich from McDonald's. I'm an idiot for expecting anything spectacular, period. The thing is, the last time I had this sandwich... I was 15... and really fat. It really didn't matter how it tasted, all I knew was that the idea of a rib bbq sandwich was glorious. So for the past 7 years, I've held this image of an incredible sandwich in my mind as fact, just waiting for the day of it's spectacular return... like a robot zombie Jesus sandwich of sorts.



It's not so much that the sandwich is awful. I still like it, and I've been eating plenty of them, it's just that it's impossible to live up to expectations like that. The bun is like any other McDonald's sandwich, so there's not much to complain about there. The patty on the other hand... leaves a lot to be desired. My memory is super hazy, but I always remembered it as something that was texturally similar to the inside of a McNugget, not the soft eraser brick that I found inside my sandwich. When you get over the fact that it doesn't feel anything like pork, the McRib isn't too bad. It does it's job as a glorified sauce carriage, is super cheap, and doesn't taste half awful.

I'm actually not really sure what direction this post is supposed to go in. I guess I'm kind of pissed off that my childhood memories have been effectively stomped into the ground and spat on, but at the same time, I've come to the realization that if I just adjust my expectations to McDonald's standards... the McRib is pretty decent. Enjoy it while it lasts people.